I'm never all that jolly at Christmas time. It's too commercial, too demanding. I hate demands. I hate to follow the sheep through the stores-- not that people mean to be sheep, but 'tis the season-- spending money I shouldn't, spending time wrapping gifts when I am tired, gifts that will only be ripped open, expensive paper burned in the woodstove or cluttering a landfill.
I don't know how to return Christmas to what I think it should be: peace and love. All is calm, all is bright.
It's hard to back up.
I don't like all the hype. But somewhere along the line, early on when my three kids were little, I succumbed and set a precedent that I want to end, but how?
Here's what I'd say to new parents:
Don't start off your Christmases by piling presents high under the tree. It's easy to do when a lot of little toys, relatively inexpensive, make a big pile to the eye-popping delight of the little ones. Their excitement makes it worth repeating next year, and the next, until suddenly the gifts aren't so inexpensive, and the pile must shrink or credit cards be used.
My kids have never whined and begged for things. Really. My Christmas angst is my own doing. I hate to disappoint.
But will it be the "kids" (my youngest is nineteen, but he's my baby) who are disappointed if the pile under the tree is small? Or me, who wants to see the sparkle in their eyes.
Me, I think.
Me, they tell me. "Mom, relax," they say.
And I have, a little. My husband has done the shopping so far. He's better at it than I am anyway. I'll wrap.
And this Christmas I hope to find the calm, the peace, the love . . . the reason for the season.
Comments
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It's been difficult to find the holiday spirit this year. I don't think I'm alone.
But give your kids and hubby and friends lots of hugs for they are the real presents....
Dawn
My parents always go overboard at Christmas and spend way too much money on us, which only makes me feel guilty. My mother refuses to accept that we're now grown-ups, and has to have a lot of things for us to open. It drives me crazy. My brother also spends too much, and it's stupid since we never talk or spend time together.
This year instead of spending a certain amount on every person, I just decided to buy one small nice thing for everyone, and I refuse to feel bad because some of the gifts only came to $25 or whatever. I just can't afford this holiday like others can.
I'm trying to stay in a peaceful state of mind, and that lovely picture you posted up there is just perfect to remind me to slow down, take a breath, and feel the love that the holidays are REALLY about. :)
One of the benefits of converting to Judaism is I now have a reason not to celebrate. I can just enjoy the quiet that is still there in the winter cold.
Such honesty! Always dangerous ground to use the word hate at this time of year… Brava for you.
As a single parent Christmas was always incredibly hard on me. I decided that "presents" would be things of necessity, like clothes or new shoes or books. By the time my kids were in high school they did their own shopping with an allotted amount of money from me, and then we wrapped them and put them under the tree. No disappointment, no jealousy. It was great. Now my kids are grown and having kids of their own. I think they are trying to figure out a tradition that is even less materialistic than the one they grew with. A visit to a nursing home? Helping at a soup kitchen? Something along those lines. It is a hard tiem of year. I much prefer Thanksgiving. It's my fav.
Because it's so close to Christmas, and I'm so busy, grrrr . . . , I'm not going to respond personally right now, like I want to do, but I appreciate all your comments; they're so unique, and yet contain a common thread.
Marry Christmas! :>)
Bah, humbug, I say. Give me back my Christmas, and I will feel the joy I used to feel.
My joy will be looking into the eyes of my grandchildren, and sharing the love of my adult children. Merry Christmas dear blogger friend. So glad I met you.
Wanda