Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Missing Becky~

Becky~ August 19, 1991 to April 26, 2010

She was so loved, this gentle pet of mine.  And how she loved us back.

I've been alone in my house before, of course. Those days when my husband took the kids out for the day, being able to vacuum without a baby in one arm and a toddler, riding the vacuum cleaner like it was a bronco, was solitary pleasure. Later there were quiet days as the kids were at camp and my husband at work. And then came the bittersweet aloneness when kids left home for college and a life apart. Still, I'd always liked being alone, knowing it was short lived.

This morning, after my husband pulled out of the driveway with a day full of plans,  I stood in the living room feeling alone in a way I never had before.  An unfamiliar emptiness and silence surrounded me.

Yesterday we put our 18-year-old cat, Becky, to sleep. The decision to do so was surprisingly easy. The vet had told us Becky would let us know when it was time, and somehow she did. But the decision wasn't without its pain, and we mourn her loss deeply. If you have not loved a pet with all your heart and soul, perhaps it's hard to understand how tight and loyal is the bond between human and animal—how unconditional the love.
For 18 years, Becky has been here, filling the house with her quiet presence. Who would think that a tiny eight pound cat sleeping on the couch could have sweetened what I thought was silence with her soft and constant song of love?  I now experience real silence--a hollow void. I miss the silent noise that has been with me for years… even when I thought I was alone.

I miss you Becky… I love you still and always, my sweet girl.

More about Becky: "Enjoy Her While She's Here."

I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul. ~Jean Cocteau