Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Renewing my vows~


I recommitted myself today.

I'd been so sure I'd remain faithful to my vow. In the honeymoon period, I was involved and invested. I made my promise the focus of my life. I thought I'd be one of the lucky ones to maintain a long-term relationship, not just one of the failures.

I'm talking about that New Year's resolution I made at the stroke of midnight January 2007.

Same old, same old: Lose weight and exercise more. What else?

I remember when I didn't need to "resolve" to do this. I just did it. It was a life style. I'm not sure when it became such work, or why.

I'm sure it had something to do with having three kids, working full time, ending a marriage, starting another, caring for a dying parent. Stress increases cortisol, they say, and that causes weight gain. So does getting older, and being betrayed by slowing metabolism. Oh, and not sleeping well, my fallback excuse, which is now supposed to make one gain weight.

The bottom line? Those are all excuses. I know they are. They may be factors in weight gain, but if I don't counteract them, they are nothing but excuses.

On the way home from school today, I stopped at the college track and walked laps.

As my muscles warmed and my limbs loosened, my mind opened too. Thoughts that had been tangled like a twisted in a skein of yarn, pulled free and flowed. Like I was traveling in parallel worlds, I was both on the track and somewhere else. Moving automatically in my physical body, I went from past to present and on into the future in my mind.

And when my sunglasses fogged and I felt a trickle of sweat run down my spine, I stopped. Why do I resist this? It felt good.

I'm going to make my New Year's resolutions in April from now on, when the earth really does feel fresh and new. When hope springs eternal.

2 comments:

Frances Mackay said...

I empathise with this Ruth. Funny, you are on the other side of the world but April feels renewing here too. Guess because the long hot summer is over. I didn't know so many things put on weight.
The exercise may be part of the feeling of well being but I bet the other part is because you feel good that you finally started it. Frances

Gary said...

Forget white. Not snow. Not dandruff. Not sheets and pillow cases. Not even Don Imus.

Forget white food. Eat nothing white, except things numbering two:

1] Plain low-fat yogurt.

2] Egg whites, which aren't really white until they're influenced by heat.

No refined flour. No refined sugar. Sweet potatoes rather than white potatoes. Wild rice rather than refined rice. Whole grain bread rather than white bread.

Sad to say, a Snickers, in spite of its surface disguise, is white: refined sugar inside, don't you know?

If you're a real fanatic, you'll also quit meat. None. Zero. Nada.
Oh, okay, have a piece of fish once a week. Not fried. Broiled. Without butter. Butter is yellow, not white.
Get your protein from peanut butter (natural, rather than the kind made with added sugar), eggs, and -- a tip from Mexican culture -- a mixture of beans and corn, the pairing of which incorporates the amino-acid make-up of meat.

If it doesn't work, I'll buy you a case of Pringles and a boat-load of cream-cheese-and-onion dip.