Technologically challenged~ (Part 2)

My husband called from the town football field. He had to film two games today for the coach.

Problem: He'd miss the New England Patriot's game.

Solution: He'd have me record it for him.

Problem: Me.

We just got a new upgrade for the TV. Whatever we got was cheaper than whatever we had. We got added benefits, most of which I didn't pay attention to when Bruce showed me the new remote and its functions.

All I know-- because he said it so many times, interrupting my writing over and freakin' over again-- is that this new remote has an "all on" button. Push one button and the TV and the three other electronic devices under it turn on.

Bruce says to get the "quick start" card and follow the directions. He seems to have faith in me, although he does ask, "Is Joanna awake?" She's techno daughter. She's sleeping.

I follow the directions, which are so simple a six year-old could do them. At the push of the button all four things go on; red, green yellow lights wait for my next command.

I consult the DVR Quick Tip Card for "easy steps to use the features of your DVR." It can record with "just one touch of a button." I relax.

I do exactly, and I mean EXACTLY, what the directions say, but no red light appears by the selection to show it is being recorded. I shut it off. I'll start all over.

Then things get confusing.

Not all the lights go off. They should, I think. So I push another button that says power to make them go off, but it doesn't work this way. Now it says "video 1" on the screen and I have to make that go away, so I try one of the arrow buttons; it seems logical that it might revert back to the normal TV. But no, the screen becomes a blank blue color.

Damn! I hate these illogical remotes. Intuition is lost on them. They are so finicky and not at all user friendly.

Joanna wakes, and comes to assist, but not after making a few comments.

"Mom, you must have been pushing buttons again."

"No, I did exactly what it said. Exactly. I don't know why I'm . . ."

" . . . so technologically challenged," she finishes.

She does exactly what I did (minus a few extra buttons here and there), and the red light appears.

I call Bruce and tell him it's all set. It was easy I say, but for some reason it didn't work for me. Joanna set it up.

"That's because you're technologically challenged." He laughs lightly, glad to know he can come home to the game.

"I could have saved all this trouble," I say. "I could just call and tell you who wins."

"No!" he says. I won't but it is so tempting. Technology be damned!
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Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards. ~Aldous Huxley
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Read part one in the ongoing technology series: Remote chance~