Sunday, August 26, 2007
Now's the time~
In two days we'll be driving David to college. Not far, an hour and a half away, and an easy trip over major roads. I know from experience that he'll be fine, and have fun, and grow older and wiser. And that I'll miss having him around.
He and his girlfriend Jen are in the "family room," packing his clothes and other belongings in plastic footlockers. They both look grim-- or maybe just solemn-- but determined. They've had a fun-filled summer, between jobs, and have put off thinking about going away until they can't ignore it any longer.
Dave and Jen have been together since 5-5-05, an "anniversary" they've celebrated twice. College will separate them for the first significant amount of time since then. They're walking through the throes of missing each other in advance.
At eighteen, who knows? They could have already found their life partner. Maybe absence will make their hearts grow fonder. Or maybe it will be out of sight out of mind, although I don't think so with these two who now are chatting and laughing as they take posters off Dave's bedroom walls, rolling and packing them for a new wall.
But this is about now. The future will unfold as a series of nows. Now is all they have-- all any of us have-- just this moment.
They don't need or want platitudes or clichés. They don't need to hear:
"We all went through it."
Or, "This will test your love."
"You're still so young," or, "If it is meant to be . . ."
And especially not, "There are too many fish in the sea . . ." my mother's personal favorite when she thought I should date others.
So I'll leave it to Dave and Jen to live their lives day by day, to feel their own pleasure and pain, make the choices that feel right for them, and to learn as they go. They don't know yet how young and inexperienced they are. Or that some day their college memories will be a foggy collage of experiences they will think of only occasionally.
But that's beside the point, because this is now.
For a look at walking through the empty nest period, read: Night,Dave~ and Last time~