Last day of school!

When alarm went off at 5:45 this morning, I shut it off, and then "unset" it for the summer. I didn't want the alarm waking me tomorrow.

Today was the last day of school.

For the next couple of months, I'll wake when my body chooses. My biorhythms will shift; I'll take naps if I need to. And the bathroom-- I'll go when I need to now. No more being at the mercy of the bell.

I won't even try to pretend I'm not as excited as the kids. All teachers are.

Who wouldn't be glad to have a respite from the intensity that goes with the job? This intensity is something that only teachers understand; most folks think the job looks easy. It's not, but you have to experience it to see why.

Yet come September, I'll be just as excited to go back to school. It's in my blood.

About the time that my fifth graders-- former fifth graders, now-- were playing kick ball after supper, I took a walk.

I started thinking about "my kids." I'd miss this bunch, but I know they'll drop in and see me next fall. They'll come back to visit as sixth, seventh and eight graders. After that, they'll go off to high school, and even then, if I'm lucky, some come back to say hi.

Then I remember. Next year is my last year. I opted for early retirement when it was offered as a bribe to move the older, thus higher paid, teachers out. I will have taught for 36 years; that makes me sound older than I feel.

So my time behind the desk is limited to 180 more days. Don't let me tell you I'm looking forward to retiring, although I am, because I'm not quite ready to give up the profession I chose for myself when I was in first grade.

Next year I'll focus on "my kids" with a bright spotlight because every thing will be a "last time" moment. When the last day rolls around-- the final last day-- those hugs will be extra special. If you haven't been hugged by a fifth grader, you don't know what you're missing. I'll know, and I'll miss it. A lot.
~~~~~
I received this gift today from Emma.

Mrs. Douillette
You taught science, social studies, and English, too.
You're thoughtful and helpful which makes you you.
You knew how to make everything fun.
You work and encourage kids until their work is done.
You always come up with helpful tricks,
Any problem you knew how to fix.
You're always busy; you never stop.
On my favorite teachers list, you're way at the top.
Filling kids with knowledge with just one touch,
You know next year I'll miss you so much!
You were always there to catch me when I'd fall,
Mrs. Douillette, you're the BEST teacher of them all!

Did I say I'll miss it a lot? I will. Meanwhile, summer vacation. Yes!

For Alice~ She's home!!!!!!!

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Sometimes it's all about knowing that loved ones and friends stand behind you, knowing that support is there on the down days, the worry days, the days when you feel off-center, out of sync, bedraggled emotionally, and in pain, but knowing all the while that you're not alone. You're not alone... Alice is an online friend--she lives in Hawaii-- who belongs to the writer's workshop that I do. We've only "met" online, but those who have online friendships know that they can be just as strong as those in-person relationships. Alice was hit by a car while walking, and is in the rehab phase of things. She's working to regain mobility after a broken pelvis, a broken arm, and a broken nose. It's scary to realize how, in the blink of an eye, life can lurch and our plans for a time are displaced by survival and healing. We...

Killing time~

I'd woken feeling stuffy headed, slightly allergy-ish, puffy-eyed, and a tad grumpy. Lots to do, little time in which to do it, school issues keeping me in a state of angst, I considered not going to David's game. But it was Saturday, the game fairly close to home-- Salem State College-- an hour or so north through Boston to the town of Salem, famous for the 1692 witch trials that saw 19 suspected witches, many of them social outcasts, hang on Gallows Hill. A change of pace was what I needed whether I wanted it or not, so I went. I squeezed in a walk around the block that enclosed Salem State's O'Keefe Center while waiting for the game to begin. Just to kill time. I get so few chances to do that. Others walking, too, passed with no eye contact, no greetings, just sharing the same planet. Two were coming toward me. Still unfocused in the distance . . . one was tall, the other short . . . two men . . . loose clothing . . . like army clothes, camouflage . . . beard and lon...

Missing Becky~

Becky~ August 19, 1991 to April 26, 2010 She was so loved, this gentle pet of mine. And how she loved us back. I've been alone in my house before, of course. Those days when my husband took the kids out for the day, being able to vacuum without a baby in one arm and a toddler, riding the vacuum cleaner like it was a bronco, was solitary pleasure. Later there were quiet days as the kids were at camp and my husband at work. And then came the bittersweet aloneness when kids left home for college and a life apart. Still, I'd always liked being alone, knowing it was short lived. This morning, after my husband pulled out of the driveway with a day full of plans, I stood in the living room feeling alone in a way I never had before. An unfamiliar emptiness and silence surrounded me. Yesterday we put our 18-year-old cat, Becky, to sleep. The decision to do so was surprisingly easy. The vet had told us Becky would let us know when it was time, and somehow she did. But ...

~Upstream and Down~

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