Monday, November 3, 2008

The tough get going~

I took a picture yesterday morning of frosty leaves on a prickly vine. Not fine art, or anything, but the sun sparkling on the frost caught my eye, so I took the picture. I posted it on Flickr with the title: "When the going gets tough."

The plant will succumb soon enough to the cold by dropping its leaves and hunkering down in survival mode for the winter, but in the meantime, it was hanging in . . . the tough get going.
When the going gets tough~
The title now seems a bit prophetic after I answered the phone this morning. An older son issue. Again. The kind that wrenches a mother's gut and calls for maternal toughness. Again.

So I need to be strong when I feel anything but, act decisively when I have no clue if I'm doing the right thing. Time will tell. I can only take one step at a time. Each one takes me to a new vantage point, another decision to be made.

One step at a time, day by day. This works.

Somehow I've learned to stop worrying about where I'll be called to step in the future. When I get to that point, it will be clear to me. Or as clear as it ever is.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Frosty leaves on a prickly vine. Come spring the vine will burst forth with tender new growth. I can count on that.
Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles. ~Alex Karras


Tere said...

Oh Ruth, my heart aches for you. My parents went through this with my youngest sister. Since she is almost 19 years younger than me, I felt like her parent also. The stories I could tell you. And the hardest thing as a parent is to know what to do. And to stick by it. You are in my thoughts.

Pauline said...

As long as you can temper the toughness with love (and it seems you are doing that), the vine will continue to bear fruit. As a mother, I know that gut-wrench. Thinking of you...

leslie said...

Yes, tough love with tenderness but then our children don't see the tenderness behind the toughness, do they? I always feel guilty but know it's for the better good to say No. Profound words today, my friend. Hugs.

Ruth D~ said...

I'm not alone. There is not a parent alive who doesn't deal with something sooner or later. I have more trouble with the toughness than the tenderness. Being tough is hard for me.

RiverPoet said...

(((Ruth))) -

There is nothing harder than standing our ground with our children when they become problem children. I actually joined a 12-step program at church to help me with my codependent behavior. I was constantly giving in and letting our daughter walk all over me. I was coming between her and her consequences.

I don't know if you are aware of it, but my daughter is mentally ill and struggles with all kinds of substance abuse and rebellion. This has been going on since she was 14, and she's almost 25 now. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for her, but that means I'm getting in God's way. I've had to learn to rely on my faith more than on my untrustworthy heart.

If you like, you can check out some of my struggles here, but I don't update it often. Peace - D

Lisa said...

So sorry to hear you're going through this again, Ruth. I hope all turns out well for your son . . . stay strong, my friend. (((RUTH)))

Such a beautiful picture, by the way . . . I just love the light and stunning details!

Bob Sanchez said...

Peace, Ruth.

Dave said...

Ruth, my prayers are for you and your situation. Just know that your love is what guides you and when you give out the love then it will be recieved. You just need to be open to all things.

Blessings my friend.

sc morgan said...

Shit! I am sorry. What else to say? No advice will salve the wounds. Only you will know what to do. Peace. Love. s

Wanda said...

No, you are not alone. I applaud your courage to give tough love.

Living day by day reminds me of a phase in a song my friend wrote.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow's still a mystery, TODAY is a present, a gift from God.

Yes, living in the today, is best, cause tomorrow will have enough trouble to go around.

Love and Hugs