Skip to main content

The tough get going~

I took a picture yesterday morning of frosty leaves on a prickly vine. Not fine art, or anything, but the sun sparkling on the frost caught my eye, so I took the picture. I posted it on Flickr with the title: "When the going gets tough."

The plant will succumb soon enough to the cold by dropping its leaves and hunkering down in survival mode for the winter, but in the meantime, it was hanging in . . . the tough get going.
When the going gets tough~
The title now seems a bit prophetic after I answered the phone this morning. An older son issue. Again. The kind that wrenches a mother's gut and calls for maternal toughness. Again.

So I need to be strong when I feel anything but, act decisively when I have no clue if I'm doing the right thing. Time will tell. I can only take one step at a time. Each one takes me to a new vantage point, another decision to be made.

One step at a time, day by day. This works.

Somehow I've learned to stop worrying about where I'll be called to step in the future. When I get to that point, it will be clear to me. Or as clear as it ever is.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Frosty leaves on a prickly vine. Come spring the vine will burst forth with tender new growth. I can count on that.
~~~~~
Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles. ~Alex Karras

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Tere said…
Oh Ruth, my heart aches for you. My parents went through this with my youngest sister. Since she is almost 19 years younger than me, I felt like her parent also. The stories I could tell you. And the hardest thing as a parent is to know what to do. And to stick by it. You are in my thoughts.
November 3, 2008 at 7:13 PM
Pauline said…
As long as you can temper the toughness with love (and it seems you are doing that), the vine will continue to bear fruit. As a mother, I know that gut-wrench. Thinking of you...
November 4, 2008 at 5:35 PM
Leslie: said…
Yes, tough love with tenderness but then our children don't see the tenderness behind the toughness, do they? I always feel guilty but know it's for the better good to say No. Profound words today, my friend. Hugs.
November 4, 2008 at 6:06 PM
Ruth L.~ said…
I'm not alone. There is not a parent alive who doesn't deal with something sooner or later. I have more trouble with the toughness than the tenderness. Being tough is hard for me.
November 4, 2008 at 7:28 PM
RiverPoet said…
(((Ruth))) -

There is nothing harder than standing our ground with our children when they become problem children. I actually joined a 12-step program at church to help me with my codependent behavior. I was constantly giving in and letting our daughter walk all over me. I was coming between her and her consequences.

I don't know if you are aware of it, but my daughter is mentally ill and struggles with all kinds of substance abuse and rebellion. This has been going on since she was 14, and she's almost 25 now. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for her, but that means I'm getting in God's way. I've had to learn to rely on my faith more than on my untrustworthy heart.

If you like, you can check out some of my struggles here, but I don't update it often. Peace - D
November 5, 2008 at 7:50 AM
Unknown said…
So sorry to hear you're going through this again, Ruth. I hope all turns out well for your son . . . stay strong, my friend. (((RUTH)))

Such a beautiful picture, by the way . . . I just love the light and stunning details!
November 5, 2008 at 11:45 AM
Unknown said…
Ruth, my prayers are for you and your situation. Just know that your love is what guides you and when you give out the love then it will be recieved. You just need to be open to all things.

Blessings my friend.
November 8, 2008 at 9:13 AM
sarah corbett morgan said…
Shit! I am sorry. What else to say? No advice will salve the wounds. Only you will know what to do. Peace. Love. s
November 8, 2008 at 9:50 PM
Wanda said…
No, you are not alone. I applaud your courage to give tough love.

Living day by day reminds me of a phase in a song my friend wrote.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow's still a mystery, TODAY is a present, a gift from God.

Yes, living in the today, is best, cause tomorrow will have enough trouble to go around.

Love and Hugs
Wanda
November 8, 2008 at 10:47 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

For Alice~ She's home!!!!!!!

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Sometimes it's all about knowing that loved ones and friends stand behind you, knowing that support is there on the down days, the worry days, the days when you feel off-center, out of sync, bedraggled emotionally, and in pain, but knowing all the while that you're not alone. You're not alone... Alice is an online friend--she lives in Hawaii-- who belongs to the writer's workshop that I do. We've only "met" online, but those who have online friendships know that they can be just as strong as those in-person relationships. Alice was hit by a car while walking, and is in the rehab phase of things. She's working to regain mobility after a broken pelvis, a broken arm, and a broken nose. It's scary to realize how, in the blink of an eye, life can lurch and our plans for a time are displaced by survival and healing. We...
37 comments
Read more

Killing time~

I'd woken feeling stuffy headed, slightly allergy-ish, puffy-eyed, and a tad grumpy. Lots to do, little time in which to do it, school issues keeping me in a state of angst, I considered not going to David's game. But it was Saturday, the game fairly close to home-- Salem State College-- an hour or so north through Boston to the town of Salem, famous for the 1692 witch trials that saw 19 suspected witches, many of them social outcasts, hang on Gallows Hill. A change of pace was what I needed whether I wanted it or not, so I went. I squeezed in a walk around the block that enclosed Salem State's O'Keefe Center while waiting for the game to begin. Just to kill time. I get so few chances to do that. Others walking, too, passed with no eye contact, no greetings, just sharing the same planet. Two were coming toward me. Still unfocused in the distance . . . one was tall, the other short . . . two men . . . loose clothing . . . like army clothes, camouflage . . . beard and lon...
18 comments
Read more

Missing Becky~

Becky~ August 19, 1991 to April 26, 2010 She was so loved, this gentle pet of mine.  And how she loved us back. I've been alone in my house before, of course. Those days when my husband took the kids out for the day, being able to vacuum without a baby in one arm and a toddler, riding the vacuum cleaner like it was a bronco, was solitary pleasure. Later there were quiet days as the kids were at camp and my husband at work. And then came the bittersweet aloneness when kids left home for college and a life apart. Still, I'd always liked being alone, knowing it was short lived. This morning, after my husband pulled out of the driveway with a day full of plans,  I stood in the living room feeling alone in a way I never had before.  An unfamiliar emptiness and silence surrounded me. Yesterday we put our 18-year-old cat, Becky, to sleep. The decision to do so was surprisingly easy. The vet had told us Becky would let us know when it was time, and somehow she did. But ...
18 comments
Read more